These past weeks have been interesting.. lots of things have happened I am afraid I cannot get into detail with. I miss the one I love so much and there is nothing I can do about it right now,

I just hope he is alright.. I tried to get a hold of him and he has not answered. I hope and pray everything is semi well for him right now, it cannot be that great with the situation at hand. I wont be on often, I am trying to organize my thoughts, my world.

But just to let anyone who reads this know, I wont give up. You can beat me to hell until I am spitting up blood and barely moving and I still wont give up. The only thing that will make me give up is if the one I love wants me to. If I know he means that he wants me to go I will go. But until then I will give it every length of my strength to have what I need. This situation isn’t fair and it hurts that someone would try to say they gave me their blessing and then backstabbed someone they use to be with. I don’t believe the things some of the people have told me and I wont not until there is concrete proof and even then it could be fake. I just want my happy life of imperfect perfection.

And I wont back down until I get it.

I miss you all especially my closest friends.. I made some of you Christmas cards already… I wanted to make sure they were not as ghetto as last years.. ^^’ I hope everything is settled and happy soon.